Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
