I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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