You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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