like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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