I am in a vortex of obligation.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
