My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
