Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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