Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
