I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
