I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
you never un-have a 4some
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
