Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
