sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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