dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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