i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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