K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Buhtt sex?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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