It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
