yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
