Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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