The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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