careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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