You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
