is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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