you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
