About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
