So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
