I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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