We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
