If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize