Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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