Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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