Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
