I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
