Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
