Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
