Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
