Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
