I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
