Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He better not be in your backpack
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
