is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
