Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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