a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
