Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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