I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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