I think I just saw someone hide a body.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
