I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
