Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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