Well apparently he's into motor boating.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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