he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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