i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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