My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
