at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
