We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
