hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
