paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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