there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
