AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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