i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
