just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
