'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
