Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
