Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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